I’ve never gotten the whole dating concept, to be honest. Maybe it’s because I’ve never dated before (Alhamdulillah!). I’d like to think it’s mainly because my thinking levels on this subject are on point (c’mon, I’m a teenager. The know-it-all attitude is our defense mechanism!).
When a man (or woman) commits zina, his Iman leaves his body and hovers over him like a cloud. When he ceases, his Iman returns. [Narrated by Abu Dawood (4690), at-Tirmidhi (2625). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.]
Help me understand it. We’re living in the generation of ‘understanding’ parents. Oh, you don’t mind your son/daughter having a boyfriend/girlfriend because s/he’s still young? How does that work? My parents would dropkick me to Saudi Arabia and my siblings would take it from there and drench me in ZamZam. And you know what? I love them for that (let’s not tell them that just yet, yeah? Can’t play all your trump cards at once).
Let’s break it down:
On one hand, you don’t really love each other. Okay, so why would you want to get so severely punished for someone you don’t love? I love free stuff (right, sorry, gifts) as much as the next person (maybe more), but I’ll stick to entering every worthwhile competition I come across, thank you very much.
And then on the flip side, you do love each other. Everything’s all fine and dandy, except why would you want someone you love to get so severely punished for your sake? Like, hey, I love you, and we’re going to get punished for this, but not to worry, we’ll make Istighfaar after we get married. Who promised you tomorrow? Allah (S.W.T) warns us that the repentance made at the time when the sun rises from its setting (i.e. from the West), one’s plea for forgiveness will not be answered. And nobody knows when the Day of Qiyaamah is.
I don’t know.. Doesn’t sound like true love to me. To me? Love is Nabi (S.A.W) crying and crying for our safety from the Fire. Love is Allah forgiving us again and again. Because they don’t want us to hurt. They don’t want us to be punished. Love is there being a chosen one for you already.
Make it halaal, bro. Forget about those ‘Back in my day’ episodes, if you really want it to work, it will. If you’re still studying or you’re not ready yet, that’s completely fine. You don’t have to live with him immediately. Believe me, there ain’t no fatwa about that. Nikaah is first. Nikaah is ALWAYS first. Then you can let him court you (you can still get free stuff gifts).
Remember, with Allah’s guidance, you will get married when it has been decreed for you. Cancel out the words ‘not ready’. If your Istikhaara is positive, it’s what’s meant to be. Allah knows best (and nowadays, boys can cook. So just shove him into the kitchen).
A husband strives to better your Deen, a boyfriend destroys your Deen. Don’t you want someone waiting for you, to hold your hand and lead you towards Jannah? That’s sounds waay more romantic than having someone drag you towards Jahannum.
Salaah, Fasting, Zikr.. That’s the prescription given by Allah to help us avoid Zina.
Remember, you take one step step towards Allah, Allah takes ten steps towards you.
May Allah protect us all and grant us the ability to overcome our Nafs.
Love and Duas,